Tuesday, July 29, 2008

No Solicitors!!!

I want to say something about door-to-door salesmen, or any other person, (man, woman or child) who comes peddling their wares at my doorstep.

This entire practice is so contrary to everything I stand for and believe in. Not on a spiritual level mind you, but on a "not begging strangers to buy my crap" level.

Here is the bottom line for me. If I want some-thing, what ever it is.... I will go and buy it. If I want it and I haven't purchased it yet, that means I can't afford it. So when people come to my house and I open the door and it is clear that they are selling something, I already know I don't want it, or I don't need it, or I can't afford it. Even if they are selling some new, one of a kind item I've never heard about, I don't even know it exists yet, so I'm never going to miss it. And I'm better off not even knowing it's for sale.

I mean am I completely off base here? I mean are you ever just sitting at home on your couch wishing you had some frozen cookie-dough, or a more powerful vacuum, or 400 more channels of cable, and you feel completely helpless because "Where am I going to get cookie dough?" That stuff is not for sale anywhere I know of. There certainly don't seem to be any entire cooperations dedicated to its mass production and distribution (I'm obviously being sarcastic). Oh but wait, this cheer-leader wants sell me some sort of special cookie dough. At least it must be special because she wants $14.00 for like a handful of it. I'm looking at this girl, with a half eaten tube of Betty-Crocker chocolate chip cookie dough in my hand, that was like a buck fifty at Smith's and she knows she has met her match. That's right young lady, cooperate America and the Industrial Revolution beat you to it! Come back 50 years ago and maybe we'll talk.

Then there is the guy who as soon as you open the door says "Don't worry, I'm not trying to sell you anything." Oh really? Well are you here to tell me about someone who is selling something? Or are you here to tell me where I could buy a particular product if I felt so inclined? If that is the case my friend, just let me tell you up front. I got cheap, delicious cookie dough in the fridge, I have a fantastic vacuum in the closet and I don't watch much TV. So unless you are here looking to buy any of those items from me, just keep on movin'.

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