Thursday, January 7, 2010

30 Years Old

Today is my 30th birthday. (That's me in the picture)
I remember when I was a kid and 30 seemed so old. Now that I am there, it seems even older. In recent months I have started to find gray hairs peeking out here and there. The transformation has already started! Before I know it, my kids will be helping me eat and dabbing slobber off my chin!

Maybe I am being melodramatic about this whole thing, but I don't think so. What I do think is that everyone else is not being dramatic enough!

They say that men are like fine wine, in that they get better with age. And I guess this is true... If your name is Sean Connery or George Clooney. Aside from those two people, everyone else just gets older with age.

Better with age my foot! Do you know who made up that saying? The same group of liars that said "Winning isn't everything" and "All you can do is you best". Well let me give you a little reality therapy buddy. Your best wasn't good enough and you lost! And now you will never get another chance, because that was your last year of high school and you blew it! Now you will never date the prom queen (whoever that was?) and before you know it, you will be 30 years old and considering which shade of "Just for Men" is right for you! Dang you George Clooney, for setting the bar so high!!!

Now I can already hear your rebuttals and arguments:

"But Shea, you're still the best looking guy I know."


"I would kill for your intellect at any age!"


"Of all your over-achieving, nerdy siblings, who thought they were so special excelling in remedial classes, taught at a stupid, second rate high-school, getting 4.0 GPAs and scholarships while you were still struggling through math 101, not because you were stupid, but because you were too busy partying with all the cool kids, every night of the week to waste time studying for some dorks test, who hates you anyway, because you nic-named him "Poop-Tooth", which was less of a nic-name and more of an actual description, that you inavertently blurted out during an assembly!!!....!!....! (Deep Breath)...... What was I saying?... Oh nevermind. I just wanted you to admit that I was the best looking person you know and that my siblings were all nerds.